Expectation
it's a yes for me. hm apeni awal tahun patutnya cerita pasal azam etc but the negative side of me decided to let it out today so bear with it mwahaha.
firstly, kita kena faham why do ppl expect things from you. maybe it is bcs they believe in you, they know you can manage well. But somehow kita yang diexpect untuk capai itu dan ini ni, just wanna get a life. kadang-kadang tu rasa macam, can't you realize that your expectation is stressing me out? don't expect things like that from me, I'm not capable of it- and macam2 negative thoughts datang.
orang yang positive minded probably cannot relate sebab we have different brain cells. lol.
and as for me, bila ada orang tanya, bila fly? mesti dah reti cakap nihonggo- takpe dekat jepun nanti yadayada.. *sighhhh* selain aminkan apa yang diorang cakap, I felt pressured. Faham, diorang berniat baik but instead of saying things like that, why not give me some motivation to survive this hella life?
dan, orang yang expect things from us ni tak lain tak bukan orang yang terdekat dengan kita;family and friends. sedangkan my sister pun never ever bergurau about the course I'm taking. probably because all I've shared with her is tears.
Next week, dapat tahu siapa yang boleh fly. Hopefully we get the chance to, amin.
and I have this negative mind where ppl suddenly treat me differently just bcs they know I'm gonna study abroad. bukan nak self-center or whatnot tapi sebelum ni orang yang tak pernah ambil kisah pun tiba-tiba start to text me, who wouldn't get the idea kan. to all readers, if you ever be in this kind of situation, I know you'll get what I mean. T_T and for those who can't relate, I'm sorry.
sakit tau. bila rasa yang orang berkawan dengan kita tapi bukan sebab diri kita.
for those who always been there through thick and thin and mentioned my name in your dua, thank you:')
to my dearest friend who always ask if I'm okay, I wouldn't trade you for the world. <3
Lastly, I'm sorry if I don't live up to your expectation.
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